What it was, what it is and what could it be...

I’m sitting in a broken chair, with a short on, well let me tell you this is kind of hurting. I’m not sure what to write about today, I’m in front of a old computer at a big mall, I’m bored and I deactivated my facebook few days ago, so I don’t have anyone to stalk, I forgot to bring my cell phone to work today, so I can’t even text my friends. I don’t have any other assignments for Monday, but to write in my blog. So here I am trying to think about something to write about, something that gives me something 800 words long.  Yesterday my literature teacher read us some of our classmate blogs, one of my friends wrote about a childhood event that made me laugh and remember things that I shared with my little brother years ago, and made me realized how our relationship had changed since then. We used to be very close to each other, we spent many time together and have the most amazing adventures a child would like to have. Our imagination had no end; I hope all of our memories stay in our heart now and forever. So I guess this is the topic I’m writing about, I want to remember those great times.

My little’s brother name is Gabriel, he is fourteen years now, and I know that he will be a gentleman. He has a huge heart, willing to help everyone that comes across; he gives more than he has not waiting for something in return. My little brother is a strong little boy that has been in between of many problems, and at the end he knows exactly how to handle them, he never chooses between two he is always in the middle and never take sides, he tries not to judge or criticize anybody and always respects what other people think. He is very secure of himself and loves taking risks, Gabriel is a very unique boy, he knows how to play the guitar like nobody does, electric or acoustic guitar, loves music. Passed from piano, to battery and now guitar, he loves blues, rock, reggae and every kind of music.Well I know I could write so much more about him, but this blog assignment we need to choose from 6 topics. So I’ll write about how I shared my childhood with this amazing brother of mine. 

When we made trips to Huehuetenango and Gabriel was a little baby he  was always sitting in a baby chair for cars that was subjected with the back sit belt. I remember he didn’t cry that much, so what I did was to unbuckled that was inside the chair, so every curve my mom took the chair fell, I couldn’t stop laughing because my brother couldn’t move and my mom didn’t realized it until she heard me laughing so hard.

I’m sixteen years old, he is fourteen as I told you before. We are only two children, and therefore I’m the oldest of the two, that means I was able to manipulate, bother and lie to my little brother because he was much more innocent that I was. When he was 5 years old I remember I did this weird mixture of ingredients, I actually mixed everything that I was able to find in my kitchen. Starting from water and milk, to Nesquik (powder for making milk chocolate), lemon, sugar and salt, and the special ingredient: soil from my front yard. Well when it was all mixed up, I went with my brother and told him that if he drank it he would be the fastest kid ever, he will run so fast that nobody would be capable of seeing him! My little brother believed it of course, he started drinking that weird thing, he was just to throw up, I can’t imagine how that tasted like, I actually can’t understand how he didn’t got sick. When he finished it he started running through the garden, I started screaming “WOW!! Gabriel where are you? I can’t even see you”… He ran and ran until I got bored and told him that the super power was over, and that someday I will make the secret mixture for him again. 

We used to believe that we were spies since we watched that movie called “Spy Kids”, we made my mom buy us every new thing that was related to spies. We had magic glasses to see in the dark, we had a microphone to keep secret messages, a green lantern, everything you can imagine a little kid would need to be a professional spy. One of our favorite missions was going to the condominium basement where all the tenants used to have their reunions, and listen about their conversations. We where the heads of all missions, because we were the ones who had more spy stuff of our neighborhood. Playing Barbie’s was one of my favorite hobbies back then; I could spend hours in my room building Barbie’s house. Boys liked playing cars, but I forced my little brother to play Barbie’s with me, but he played with that toy called “Max Steel”, I always thought he was much handsome than Ken. We spent all afternoon riding bicycles in the garden with our friends.  We watched movies; we made exclusive song shows to my mom. I remember we laugh every time we could.

Time passed by and we got older, we started changing the garden for video games and Barbie world for true love stories. I remember when he told me about the first crush on a girl he had, at first I was kind of jealous. He had a girlfriend before I finally got a boyfriend. I grew older and started hanging more with my friends, going to parties, going to the cinema, pajama parties, etc. It seemed that I didn’t have so much time to share with Gabriel as I did before. I miss those days when we could get along so well to spend all day long together. I became a very mean sister; I never paid attention to him, and started bothering him until it wasn’t funny anymore. He started to walk away from my life little by little; he doesn’t trust me as before. I regret not realizing that my attitude hurt him.  I wish more than anything in this world we could ever have the relationship we once had again. A couple of months from now I promised myself that I would never be so mean at him again and I would give him more attention, because he haven’t done nothing but being nice at me in all this time, he does not deserve how I treat him. I haven’t really worked in this promise I made, but now I know that at the end of my day, family goes first, and in some future he will be my only family left. I love my little brother, he is the man of the house, the only man I have really loved in my life, I always tough that a brother is a friend given by nature, so I know that I will gain our friendship back again, before it may be to late.

Somewhere where I got that awful feeling on the pit of my stomach...

Changing places, some place that changed, somewhere where I got that awful feeling on the pit of my stomach... I’ll write this time about a place, not about  a person, but that place that makes me remember about a loved person. That place is my grandmother’s house, at Huehuetenango. Well, I was borned in Huehuetenango 16 years from now. I can remember this house being so huge I could get lost, with a big garden in the middle of the house, full of roses of any color that my grandma loved and got good care of, the tallest tangerine tree you can imagine where we used to pick up tangerines with a orange wooden stick with my little brother, and the oldest turttle living you’ll ever meet; also a huge blue and white fountain at the middle of that beautiful garden. I was a baby, I can’t remember all of this, I can only look at pictures and notice I was there at sometime. I moved to El Salvador for a couple of years until my parents got divorced, I was two years old when I went back to Huehuetenango, my whole family was waiting for us with their arms wide open.  My grandmother used to wear this weird perfume I never liked, it smelled as roses with alcohol, like any old ladie will wear, and gave us candies that tasted as her perfume because she kept them together at her closet.

My grandfather had the biggest supermarket at Huehuetenango, it was called Casa Saenz, it was in the same block as my grandoma's house; you could find anything in there, from bicycles, bubble gum, fruit and vegetables, until whatever your house would need. My grandma’s house was huge, but at some point it was too big for my grandma because all of her children had grown up and moved away, so they decided to divide the house in two, to make the supermarket much bigger.  So the fountain was divided in two as the garden did. The house still big enough to play and run trough the rooms, living room, kitchen, garden, the long hallway and the back part of the house, it was all connected. We lived in Guatemala city, my mother, brother and I. In the same apartment I had lived for fourteen years now. We went to Huehuetenango very often. We never missed Christmas, I have a big family, we exchanged presents, we waited for Santa Claus to come, we ate the most delicious food on planet earth, we always burned fireworks at the street.  At 12:00 pm the living room was full of presents, every color of gift package you can imagine; there was all king of gifts because my family has always been extremely different from each other, we also prayed to God and thank for everything we have and also celebrate Jesus birthday;. We were eighteen grandsons, and I have 4 aunts and 1 uncle. This house was always full of joy, happiness, laughs and love. This house was one of my favorite places I could ever be.

Everyone grew older, my big cousins started to get married, and all of the sudden they had children, my aunts became a grandma and my uncle a grandpa. When did all this happen? Timed passed away so fast... My grandma passed the way 2 days after Christmas, she had a stroke,  she had been living in Guatemala city for two years, because nobody went to Huehuetenango as often as before, it seemed that everybody had their own family and better things to do. That last Christmas we spent without my grandma was the worst night I had had in my whole life. I remember me sitting in my living room without a smile in my face, my aunt, and my aunt smoking a cigarette, my uncle eating as usual. I couldn’t call “Christmas” this night.

My grandma's house at Huehuetenango was totally abandoned,  nobody went there anymore, it was full of old stuff that nobody cared about. One of my aunts decided to go there and clean everything up, she got all stuff together and then she gave everyone what they owned, my mom got old pictures and letters,   her first baby dress and school uniform. This aunt made a Christmas meeting last year, to remember old times, we share with everyone, my mom did the dessert my grandma used to cook at Christmas night, and we did the gift exchange too. This aunt of mine was the person that laughed as nobody did, although she had cancer she was happiness itself, this year she passed the way, I’m proud of having the opportunity of being her niece.

This year we went to Huehuetenango one last time with my mother, we went to check my grandmother’s house for the last time. It was dark and dusty, with all roses dead, with the fountain all broken up, I remember when we walked inside my mom had teary eyes, this was the exact moment when I got that awful feeling on the pit f my stomach. A weird feeling inside my heart, this place used to remind me about happiness and love, now it is an empty place. My family decided to rent this big place, just because it is so old they had to start a construction from the very start, some months from now my grandma’s house had been demolished, my uncle went to take pictures of the whole process, when I saw them I couldn’t think about anything but sadness.  How would this year Christmas’s night be?

Friendship is something that you have since your first
years; a friend is someone who you can tell anything anytime. Someone you share
your toys with, someone who you like to share time and every moment of the day.
When we were in a day care our best friend will be the one we share recess
with. I remember I had one best friend I can barely remember of; I think her
name was Alejandra. People changes the relationship they have when they change
school, when they move to another country, house, etc. I can only remember
Alejandra and me dancing the Barbie song when we were little, my other friend
in that day care was named Clarissa, I remember her house was very far away
from mine, our mothers talk very often and when my mother took me to her house
and spent all day at her house playing at her big garden with her little
brother, she had two big dogs that barked all day.

From that day care I passed to another school, I stopped
talking with Clarissa and Alejandra, wish I could talk to them now, I can’t
imagine what their life is now a days.  I was the youngest one at my new class. I can’t remember my
first day of school. I remember that I had many friends, but I can’t remember anybody
as my best friend; until 2nd grade my best friend name was Daniela,
we did everything together, we loved playing Barbies, at my house we had a
“club” at the end of the garden, we spent hours inventing new adventures and
love stories with Ken. Another good friend of mine was Nicole, she was the
granddaughter of my neighbor, so every Friday Nicole would be at my house, we
love drawing and playing Barbies outside. We watch many movies and ride bicycle
all afternoon. We used to believe that we were spies, so when there was any
kind of meeting at the condominium we went to the basement to listen what they
were talking about even tough we didn’t understand a thing. Nicole was older
than me, she had a brother that was my age and he always made me romantic
cards. Not long time ago I found a letter that Nicole and I singed, making a
promise that we would be friends forever. Now she is eighteen, and I’m sixteen,
we stopped talking when I was twelve.  She started dating and going to parties, we started having
many different activities so we ended our friendship.

Many friends come and go from my life, I had very close
friends at school, but most of the time I defer from them all, I always change
from friend to friend. This year I started hanging with a group of friends, we
are seven in total, I can’t believe that all this year we have been so close to
each other even tough we are completely different, we don’t share anything
aside from the strong friendship we have. I know I can count with them all, but
at different times, because with one I can talk about anything, with other only
about guys and relationships, other about religion, one of them about our
feelings, I’m very close to each one but in a different way, I love them all
because they have been a huge part of my life and they showed me that not every
person will give up on you. They had supported me in every decision I had taken
so far, they wiped my tears away, I won’t remember days but I will remember
moments, I know I could write so much about each of them, they have gigantic
hearts and have unconditional support on me, I feel 100% confortable when I’m
with them, I wouldn’t change our inside jokes for anything in this world.

I never had had a best friend until a new girl moved to my
condominium. I remember I was sitting at my living room when a skinny, blonde
and curly girl appear at the garden. I went outside and started talking to her,
she had a very weird accent, brackets and a hat, she told me she was from
Texas. That was the day I met my real best friend, we’ve been best friends for
nine and almost ten years now. I was seven years old and she was nine, we
started hanging out, but our difference of ages made us kind of fight for what
game were we playing, I loved Barnie and she didn’t, she liked taking pictures,
and I didn’t… and so on.  Until we
finally got a balance and tried to share things. There was another girl that
lived here, her name was Irit, she caused our first fight as best friends, we
didn’t talked for one day! As far as I can remember that is the biggest fight
we’ve been trough. I turned thirteen and I made a pajama party, I invited all
my friends from school, I remember she was kind of jealous and didn’t liked a
couple of friends, today those two girls aren’t my friends anymore. My best
friend has a talent of perceiving what is going to happen in a future, she is
like a mom to me, everything she tells me not to do, at the end she turns
having the reason. She was always the first person I would tell my secrets, we
spent entire weekends together, we made everything together. I remember every
prank we made. All the inside joke we had. All the tears and laughs we shared.
We were our own advisor. We made homework together. She helped me with my
English homework and I helped her with her Spanish homework. We went to so many
parties together. We talked for many hours in the phone. We went shopping a
couple of times. We took uncountable pictures together. I could never imagine
that having a truly best friend will mean so much to me. She is the sister I
never had, she became a part of my family and was there when I needed her the
most. I learned a friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your
future and accepts you just the way you are. A best friend is someone who will
never give up on you. This year she graduated from high school, I can believe
that time passed so fast, I remember all nights she was home alone I when to
eat pizza at her house and talk until 3 am. She is now living in Hawaii and studying
at the university, we had skype only once, I know our friendship will remain,
because she showed me that real friendship does exist. She is my soul mate the
only one that understood me and knew how to make me smile when I was sad. She
is one of the most independent and incredible women I have ever met, I’m proud
of saying that Kathleen Weeks is my best friend and no one in this world could
ever take her place.  You don’t
need a thousand fake friends, all you need is that one real friend.